So much of my day revolves around how I see things. I was driving on the Vespa to the train this morning and I am thinking about my timing and where in the bus stop route I will get stopped. I know if I am late or if I am early based on where I get momentarily delayed. I also think how much of my life is taken up commuting, going into NYC, and working at my job. Am I solving world peace? Am I getting any younger? Am I going to look back on my life and think that was awesome!??
I don’t know what it is but I feel like something is blocking my ability to focus on the issues of the day. In this case, focus on my 16th wedding anniversary today, and finding the beauty in this momentous event. Heck, I don’t know the exact number, but half of all marriages end in divorce, so making it 16 years should be celebrated!
We have had our bumps along this walk for sure and have had big events happen that have strengthened our marriage and have tested that strength. Taking our swings at life’s pitches have been an amazing and surprising awakening of purpose and priority, of value and desire, of forgiveness and of joy, and for the daily choice of what is most important in life.
Yesterday was the nicest day of the year, and today is even better. So warm and sunny, it was registering 78 degrees in the car thermometer. You guessed it, I was not on the 649 today. I was on my way to the airport.
Right now I am sky high above the Chesapeake Bay on my way to Charlotte and then on to Kansas City. I am missing my crew and thinking about them as I look out the window. It feels like summer because the sun is high and hot, and there is a significance haze in the air, especially along the coast, where the water is still cold. The difference between the temperatures of the air and water are creating a marine layer, just like what happens in LA.
This morning Gregory came in and asked if he could take the lesser of his two capable old iPhones to school. He made the same request last night and I said “No.” Today, after 1.5 cups of coffee, I was a little hard pressed to remember all the reasons why I didn’t want him to take it to school. So, in order to put off the decision, and to help me remember all the reasons, I asked him to write me two pages on the iPod! I wanted him to talk about all sides of this device issue, so that I know he understands where we all stand on it. And since I asked him to do it, I figured I would give it a shot myself here…
Unfortunately, he was disappointed and upset with my request and with not getting his iPod back, so he harrumphed down the stairs and off to school, kicking things along the way. He doesn’t realize how close he is to getting this device back, yet he let his warrior role he played, and of course I was the enemy he was fighting against. There has to be a good reason for this war, right?
It is 40 degrees this morning, which is warm compared to what it has been, yet it is gray outside making it all seem colder. As I ride on the train this morning and look our the window, I can see so many places that need a dumpster and some effort to clean them up. I don’t care who owns them, and in some places, the trash and left over supplies and equipment are just strewn all over the sides of the tracks. I want to get out the and go clean it up. Hire a bin and then just go piece by piece and throw it away.
I don’t know if this is entirely true, but I think that it must be. How could it not? World peace starts in your own world. And for us, that world is at home.
As Kecia sit in bed drinking coffee at zero dark thirty (actually zero dark ten as someone has to get to the train…), our day starts and we get to see it all come to life. Before anything the dogs stir as I come downstairs. I quiet them down and bring up the coffees. We look out the window toward the east and we see the sunrise coming up through the trees, watching the blues give way to reds, which gives way to oranges. It is a beautiful sight. Now that the temperature is up a bit, we her birds chirping outside as well.
Where’s the world peace? I’m getting to it! About this time Gregory comes downstairs quietly, stoically, and walks into the bathroom for a shower. He doesn’t say a thing, but tends to grunt as we say good morning. (this grumpy grunting sounds like his dear old uncle Chris from when I was growing up. Luckily Chris turned out very well, so there is hope for Gregory.). Anyway, this morning I told Gregory if he wanted to shower in my shower, he would need to say “Good morning” to his mother and me. So we eeked out a GM from him. Maybe it will be easier tomorrow.
I just got finished with an Easter weekend, and had a great time with my family in town. I think my whole crew and I are missing the extended family terribly. Going to work today was more subdued, and did not seem as fun. I am tired from the food and drink, and lack of sleep.
What really got me is that I got to talk about life and see things from a different perspective. I am thankful for the areas where I think my life is better than my families lives, and in some areas I am pondering over how life might be better on the other side of the fence. In some moments I am happy, and in some I am sad, and yet I am learning from these comparisons.
The other day Gregory and I were having one of our frequent discussions about electronics. This is probably the most discussed topic in our home. At one point he mentioned how other kids have MacBook Pros with Retina displays, iPhone 5s, and iPad 3s…and he wants them too! He was passionate and emotional as he talked about these things and defeated as well.
I love how Apple has created such great products, but they have also helped turn much of our world into a virtual one, where so much of life is contained inside of these little screens. So much of the world is in there, and I don’t see it going away. Is there an app for bringing my children back?
I am thrilled to have put my blog on the web and now be considered published. Funny word published, because all I did was put it out there so anyone could read it, if they found it. Still there is a difference in writing for myself and writing for others’ viewing.
That’s ok, as I must keep writing because I love the activity. I do not have to put it all out there. I certainly should only put out the stuff that makes me happy and that I am proud of. I should only put out things that have that Oprah Ah Hah moment, which I often find at the end of my writing.
So in that vein, and not to be too vain, I will continue.
I can’t believe that another winter storm has come through last night and is hanging on this morning. No school delays as it is more like a slurpie out here than snow. This last blast reminds me that we are still in winter, and that the cold can still grip us, and yet give it all she’s got because Mother Nature will soften soon. She has too.
I think there is some correlation between the weather and winter hanging on and my hanging on to how I handle issues with the children. Last night, after the whole family watched an episode of Downton Abbey that had many interruptions by downloading delays and telephone calls, the kids started to go bed later than usual, and this is where it got interesting.
If you’ve been reading this column, you have read lots about what I want to do, what I need to do, and my plans for doing those things. It seems to me that I write about it every day, and after years of writing I am starting to feel like I write much more than I take action. So today I am going to write about taking action!
I know you are saying, “yeah, whatever”, because I am too. Still, here is my attempt to get out of analysis paralysis.
It seems without much trouble the year could get by us pretty quickly, without much planning or reflection, maybe without much direction as well. I have been thinking how I want our times to be slower, to be more special, especially our family times.
I think particularly about dinner time. Often we watch TV during dinner. And often the kids get into a silly mood and the time is separated between the moods of the children and the moods of the parents. We don’t take advantage of all of us being home, being together, and of sharing the trials and joys of growing up. As each dinner flies by, so does each week, month and then year. Each dinner should be special, and it should be a time of celebrating together, while discussing the days passed and the ones coming.
Today is the first workday of daylight savings, and I am riding home on the train and there is light outside. Pretty nice.
I ran much of the way to the train because I got caught on the phone with American Express. It was over 50 degrees in the city and it was a great day to jog, so I did. I made the train and luckily got a very nice seat, where I can look out the windows and see the cloudy yet light and warm afternoon.
It was a great weekend. So much happened, so much variation, so much of what is good.
Friday it snowed 9 or so inches. I worked from home and the kids had a snow day. It was a lot of snow in a short period of time and it snowed during the day, which hasn’t happened much lately (while I’ve been home on the weekends). Friday night
had dinner and a movie, where we went to the theater and all of the middle school kids were there. Olivia had fun and we had a teaching moment with Gregory coming up with his 3 point plan for talking to the parents, brought about because Olivia didn’t get the sleep over she wanted at the last minute after the movie.
I have been listening a lot to the homily from Msgr. Torgerson on the Happiness Project. This has been a real gift for me to think of the lens of how we look through and see the world in either a happy way, or a depressing way.
And I am moving to appreciate more, to make the investments I want to make, and to see the world as a game that I am playing, and not a fait au complis.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to capture the characters and moments that happen in this microcosm. Here’s a great one from long ago. 8/30/11
So I am taking the train home tonight. I am anxious to get home as the kids are having fun and there is a lot of work going on.
On the way home, I am doing some work, but I could not continue as a relatively attractive woman is talking quite loudly on the phone to someone. It is so interesting, that I could not even keep working. I tried to cover my ears but it was too loud and juicy, so I decided to add it to the blog.