What’s it like riding in the train, commuting on a Monday morning after a train derailment and accident on Friday? Smooth so far! (as I make the Sign of the Cross a few times + + +). Getting in seems to be easy, but had I been on the wrong train on Friday, it seems getting out of this life could be equally easy.
Today I was going to ride the Vespa to South Norwalk, where train service had limited service, and then right before I left, I heard that there was limited service out of Westport. That was obviously great for me, and I made my normal train. There was very few people on the train, and we have just stopped at Stamford, and only a handful of people got on. Seems like folks worked from home, or drove in, were running late because of the confusion, or we’re spooked by the predictions of “carmageddon” and crowding.
Every bump on the tracks makes my nerves jump a bit, wondering if something might happen to this train. That is not new, as riding the train is like riding in an old roller coaster, the metal ones like the one at the Jersey Shore that ended up in the Atlantic after Hurricane Sandy. Often the train will lose power or stop on the tracks, and I always wonder and dread that another train might come barreling into us.
It could happen at any time, the worst. That last moment that became the last moment by chance. My iPad just predicted the word “omen” inside of last moment, although I doubt I’d have that warning were something to happen. Any time could be that last moment.
I tell myself to be ready. To live like this might be your last moment. To appreciate this one here, and not just be worried or anxious about the next moments, because they may never come. I told Gregory the other day to not think so much about what we had told him before: Do well in high school, so you can do well on your SATs, so you can get into a good college, so you can then get a good job, so you can work and be happy and make money and get married and have a family and be worried for them… And on and on. The race to nowhere. Instead, I told him, enjoy every day and make the most out of it. When it’s time for the next step, you will be ready.