This morning, early morning, sun not even risen yet morning, while drinking coffee, Kecia was giving me the business about not asking her about the things going on in her life, or asking her out on dates, and for saying here stories were too long, or what she said was wrong and that she ought to be quiet. It was early for this kind of commenting, way too early, not enough coffee too early. But it got me thinking.
Last night Olivia had a melt down because of revelations that came about after a nasty fight between her and Marlo. There was a lot of she did this and she did that, but at one point Marlo said something that surprised everyone. Marlo has a friend who does not get long with her own sister, and Marlo told her that Olivia and Marlo do everything together, and that Olivia is like…her best friend.
Whoa. That was a game changer.
No one had ever volunteered to be Olivia’s best friend. And the emotion on Olivia’s face was something that we never see. She was sitting still, tears welling up and streaming down, and lost for what to do next. Marlo had opened up, shared of herself, and totally offered up her own vulnerability like a lamb to slaughter. And Olivia sat there frozen like a deer in the headlights, crying. Olivia did not reciprocate or comment at all on what Marlo had just said, but with a little prodding from Dad, Olivia answered that no one has ever said that to her. It was a supremely powerful moment, and one that I hope feeds Olivia’s outlook from here on, and that becomes a basis for a better relationship between the sisters.
How important is a best friend? How important is someone to whom you can share all and know that you will not be judged? How important is knowing that someone will always be there for you, and you can picture in your life when you are old, in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere? Pretty damn important. Otherwise you might have to find other outlets for your conversations, for example writing a blog on your commute! Is Lifeonthe649 my best friend? No, but it surely has been the canvas for open conversations, where I start with a question or inspiration and see where it travels on the page. If I only had that kind of time to muse life’s questions with a best friend on a porch somewhere.
As I ride in on a cold sunny day, I am taken to my best friends who are spread around the world, from Taiwan to Los Angeles to Germany. And then I realize my own brother, who has been my best friend since he joined the family, and who luckily for me, lives close enough to share and muse and hang out on a regular basis. I only hope that Marlo and Olivia see the gift that is right in front of them.